ADHD & the Holidays: Overcommitment and How to Break the Cycle, Part 2

The holidays are meant to be a time of celebration and joy, but for those with ADHD, they can quickly become a season of exhaustion and stress due to overcommitment.

With endless invitations, family obligations, and seasonal to-dos, the tendency to say “yes” to everything can spiral into burnout. ADHD amplifies this challenge; impulsive decisions, people-pleasing habits, and a fear of missing out often combine to create an overwhelming schedule that’s tough to manage.

Let’s explore why overcommitment is a common struggle for those with ADHD and share practical strategies to help you stay calm and reclaim your holiday season.

Why ADHD and Overcommitment Go Hand in Hand

For people with ADHD, managing impulsive responses is a daily task, and the added social pressures of the holiday season make it even tougher to slow down and think through each decision. Additionally, people with ADHD may experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), a heightened emotional response to real or perceived rejection. This can make it feel necessary to accept every invitation to avoid disappointing others, even at a personal cost. Lastly, the holiday season’s sensory overload can diminish mental resources, making it harder to assess how much time and energy you truly have.

Strategies to Tackle Holiday Planning & Overcommitment

Here are 10 ways to keep the holidays balanced and meaningful, helping you protect your energy while staying connected.

1. Set Boundaries with a Holiday Plan: Before committing, decide what’s most meaningful to you during the season. Prioritize events or activities that align with your values and set boundaries for the rest. 

2. Create a “Pause” Habit: ADHD can lead to impulsive “yes” responses, so practice giving yourself a buffer before committing to any new plans. A simple rule like “I’ll check my schedule and get back to you” can provide time to evaluate whether the commitment fits your priorities. 

3. Use a Commitment Calendar: For individuals with ADHD, a visible calendar—either on paper or digitally displayed—can help you track your commitments. Each time you consider adding a new event, check it against your current schedule to avoid unintentional overload.

4. Adopt the One-in-One-Out Approach: For each new holiday commitment, consider giving up another. This can prevent your schedule from spiraling out of control and help you make intentional choices. 

5. Build in Buffer Time: Schedule breaks between events and plan downtime into your calendar, just as you would a holiday party or family gathering. This practice will help recharge your energy and reduce overwhelm.

6. Use Compassionate No’s: Saying “no” can be challenging, especially if you’re prone to people-pleasing. Prepare a gentle but firm response, like, “I’d love to join, but I’m keeping my schedule lighter this season to focus on what’s most important to me.” This lets you set boundaries without feeling guilty.

7. Minimize Sensory Overload: If crowded stores or loud gatherings tend to increase your stress, look for ways to reduce sensory stimulation. This could mean doing your shopping online, finding quieter times to shop, or taking breaks in a quiet space during social gatherings to recharge.

8. Limit Multitasking: The holiday season often tempts us to juggle multiple tasks at once. Try to tackle one task at a time to reduce mental strain, and breaking tasks into smaller steps can make everything feel more manageable and keeps your focus on one priority.

9. Delegate Tasks Where Possible: If you’re responsible for holiday planning or hosting, consider sharing the load. Asking family members or friends for support with cooking, decorating, or shopping can relieve some of the pressure.

10. Get an Accountability Buddy: Consider partnering with a friend or family member who knows your goal to avoid overcommitting. They can help you stay accountable to your priorities and remind you to protect your energy when temptation strikes.

Reclaiming Joy and Presence

Finding a balance with holiday commitments allows you to be fully present for the moments that matter. By applying these strategies, you can ease the pressures of the season, enjoy meaningful connections, and create space for calm amidst the hustle.

Stay tuned for the next article in the Badass ADHD Newsletter series, where we’ll focus on spotting the signs of ADHD-related holiday burnout and practical steps to interrupt the cycle.