The Phone Call That Took Me Three Weeks to Make

I had been putting off this phone call for three weeks. It wasn’t anything dramatic—just a doctor’s appointment I needed to schedule. But every time I thought about it, a wall went up in my brain. I’d find a million other things to do instead. Fold laundry? Sure. Scroll through social media for an hour? Why not? But picking up the phone? Impossible.

Can you relate? That feeling of knowing a task is simple but still feeling completely unable to do it?

Why Making a Simple Phone Call Feels Impossible with ADHD

For most people, making a phone call is just another task on a to-do list—dial the number, have the conversation, move on. But for someone with ADHD, that simple phone call can feel like an impossible mountain to climb. If you’ve ever stared at your phone, paralyzed with dread, you’re not alone. The struggle is real, and there are good reasons why making phone calls is uniquely difficult for the ADHD brain.

Task Initiation Paralysis: Where Do I Even Start?

One of the biggest hurdles to making a phone call is task initiation—the ability to start a task, especially one that feels vague or overwhelming. With ADHD, getting started on anything that requires effort can feel like hitting an invisible wall. You know you need to call, you may even have a reason why it’s urgent, but your brain resists.

Why? Because phone calls require multiple executive functions at once:

• Planning what to say
• Remembering key details
• Processing new information in real-time
• Responding on the spot

For an ADHD brain that struggles with executive function, these demands can feel overwhelming, making procrastination the easier option.

Rejection Sensitivity: The Anxiety Behind the Call

Many people with ADHD experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a heightened emotional response to perceived criticism or rejection. Phone calls open the door to uncertainty—what if the person on the other end is rude? What if I mess up my words? What if I forget something important?

These anxious thoughts can create a mental block, making avoidance feel safer than risking an awkward or frustrating interaction. Even minor discomfort—like being put on hold for too long—can feel unbearable to an ADHD brain, making the whole experience something to dread.

Time Blindness & The “I’ll Do It Later” Trap

People with ADHD often struggle with time blindness, meaning tasks that don’t have an immediate consequence get pushed aside. A phone call that could be done today feels just as urgent as one that could be done next week—so it keeps getting delayed.

The thought process goes something like this:

• I should call now, but I have other things to do.
• I’ll do it later when I feel more ready.
• Later comes… and the cycle repeats.

Days, weeks, or even months can pass before the call finally gets made (if at all).

How to Make Phone Calls Easier

If making phone calls feels impossible, try these ADHD-friendly strategies:
✅ Write a script – Bullet points help reduce anxiety and keep your thoughts clear.
✅ Use a timer – Set a 5-minute countdown and commit to calling before it ends.
✅ Do it with a body double – Ask a friend to sit with you while you call.
✅ Reward yourself afterward – A little dopamine boost can help make future calls easier. Most importantly, remind yourself, “I am capable, and I can do hard things—even when my brain tries to convince me otherwise”.

Most importantly, remind yourself, “I am capable, and I can do hard things—even when my brain tries to convince me otherwise”.